The impostors are out en-masse today. Here's a guide to sniffing out the phonies.
This motherfucker is NOT irish if he:
1) Has less than 12 children
2) Looks like some italian motherfucker
3) Doesn’t smoke Corned Beef Hash
4) Doesn’t own or operate a pub
5) Doesn’t use irish spring body wash
6) Taller than 5’4”
7) Calls clovers clovers
8) Isn’t found at the end of a rainbow
9) Dances with arms
10 Does not have a firsthand account of the potato famine
11) Cannot eat a whole raw potato
12) Pronounces the sound “th” correctly
13) Can’t even fucking jig
14) Hasn’t seen the Leprechaun horror movie
15) Has never fucked a leprechaun
16) Doesn’t even know a leprechaun
17) Says “Kiss me I’m Irish”