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After Tackling Divisions in State of the Union Address, Biden Moves on to Fractions

In his yearly State of the Union Address to Congress last Tuesday night, President Joe Biden offered his vision for America’s future. After starting his speech with advice on how to tackle division in America, Biden decided to lay out his plans for his next years in office. “It’s time that we finish the job. We have spent far too much time on divisions, so now I believe it is time that we head straight into fractions.”

Biden then went on to spend the next 50 minutes laying out exactly what fractions are, and how to use them. “What I want to make exceptionally clear to the American people is that the numerator goes above the denominator, and that before you can add two fractions both denominators have to be the same.”

Representative Majorie Taylor Greene, among other members of the GOP, frequently interrupted the President's speech by yelling things like, “Liar!” and “Stop teaching our kids leftist math!” Yet Biden remained cool and collected, quipping “that’s the kind of attitude that allows Americans to only get ¼ of the pizza, while this administration brings them ⅓.”

Despite the address's more mathematical tone, the President ended the speech with stirring words of encouragement. “Just like the humble improper fraction, together the American people are much greater than their whole.”

After the address, the Madison Misnomer spoke with local elementary school teacher Barbra Benuto to find out her thoughts on the President’s lesson. “I think he did a pretty good job, considering how long it has been since he last learned all this stuff. I think some members of Congress would have benefited from having another review of multiplication tables before moving on to multiplying fractions, but Kamala Harris, whose passion for elementary education is exceptional, can have an afternoon review session with those members who are falling behind.”

So what’s next on the agenda for Biden? According to administration officials, the President hopes to review subtracting numbers up to 1000, before turning his sights toward the beast that is long division.


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