These days, it’s hard being single. The only three places to meet someone anymore are bars, gyms, and the internet. Since the bars won’t let you in, you don’t workout, and you still use pictures from your senior year on your profile, you’ve all but given up. Luckily, there’s a new hip and trendy thing young people are doing this year; voting! This November 6th make sure you know all of the best pick-up lines to ensure you cast yourself out there as you cast your vote.
1. Are you a write-in candidate? Because I’d like to pencil you in for this Friday night.
2. Are you a registered voter? Because I’m ready for you to take me into a booth and fill me out.
For this one, it is so important that you are sure they are a registered voter, so don’t be afraid to bribe someone or ask around.
3. Hey baby, did you vote to legalize weed? Because I’m high on you.
Because let’s be honest, if they voted against legalization, they’re not worth your time.
4. Are you running for governor? Because I wanna be with you for Evers.
5. How about I put a ballot in your polling place?
This one depends entirely on delivery since they might just think you’re wondering where to vote if you don’t say it with enough sexy stank.
6. Can I put some proof in your residence?
7. Are you the ballot? Because I’d love to go down on you along party lines.
If they give you some ramble about “independent thought” and that you shouldn’t vote this way, just leave and count your blessings.
8. Hey baby, you look like you can really work the poll.
Perfect if the apple of your eye is a petite thing with plenty of upper-arm strength.
9. Are you an absentee voter ballot? Because its always full send with you.
10. Are you scott walker? Because I hope you get fucked by a guy named Tony.
This one only works if your name is Tony.
11. Are you a midterm election? Because just thinking of you gives me anxiety!
You can play this off as you being the nervous, quirky nerd type, which goes well with a glasses and messy-bun look.
12. How about I put my ballot in your box?
13. Are you 18? ;)
The wink is very necessary because without it they may assume you’re a volunteer and not trying to have sex with them (though they are not mutually exclusive).
14. Hey baby, can I write you in on my ballot?
Bonus points if you write it down on a paper ballot that you stole from the polling booth
15. Are you a member of the senate? Because you’re the white person for me.
16. Are you a voter ID card? Because I can’t wait to pick you up from the Wiscard office from 7am to 8pm on Election day.
17. Make sure you make your mark heavy and dark ;)
The bolder type will have wrote a note on their chest in pen saying “Dinner friday?” with an empty checkbox next to it while seductively taking a pen out from behind their ear.
18. Hey baby, are you a libertarian? Because I’m a little confused, but I want to learn more.
But if they are a libertarian immediately try to change the conversation.
19. Are you running for senate? Because you Tammy Bald-won my heart.
20. Am I a ballot? Because you complete me.
21. You’re going to need more than strict voter ID laws to suppress me tonight, babe. ;)
Bonus points if you have voted illegally more than once.
22. Are you the midterm election? Because I’m ready for you to fuck up my life for the next two years.