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Controversial “Sexy Bucky” Statue to Replace Fountain in Library Mall

After many years the Library Mall fountain is set to be replaced after inspectors found an alarmingly high concentration of piss in the fountain's water. Experts speculate that the impressive pee concentration is the result of countless drunken escapades from University Students coming off of State. In response to the fountain misuse, the University has announced that the fountain will be replaced by a 50 ft statue of Bucky created by artist Bertha Berkens. However, the statue has drawn much controversy from the public.

Art history major, Echo Bailey, provided some expert insight to the Misnomer about the controversy. “The main issue comes from Bucky’s sex appeal,” Bailey says, “Bucky has huge tits, a slutty little waist, and his iconic sweater has been replaced with a lacy bra and panties set.”

The statue, rather notably, also includes fishnets for Bucky’s long and sexy legs, stiletto heels, and a fat ass. “Bucky’s so sexy that it’s possible students might crowd in the square to ogle the statue and miss class,” said Bailey. “He’s too sexy!”

The idea of students skipping class to lecherously stare at the statue has already been dismissed by Chancellor Jennifer Mnookin, when asked for comment. When asked why exactly the statue was so hot, Mnookin claimed in her statement that “education isn’t really that important,” and that “he (Bucky) is just so hot, we have to put him there.”

Only time will tell if Bucky’s mommy milkers will cause any problems for the University. Misnomer polling reveals that 69% of students are excited for Sexy Bucky’s debut. The statue is set to be placed in Library Mall in one week and is expected to draw in a crowd upwards of 10 people.


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