In what is being seen as a remarkable shift in University priorities, Chancellor Mnookin announced this Tuesday that all fall classes will be replaced with Family Guy 101. This came soon after researchers from the Broadcasting Observations Official Board (BOOB) reported that the average Family Guy enjoyer has an IQ level over 200. BOOB representative, Pat Magroin, elaborated in a statement to the Misnomer, “you simply need a high IQ to enjoy Family Guy, Family Guy breeds the most intelligent people. I mean, look at Stewie Griffin, now that’s a smart baby.”
Stewie Griffin is one of the main characters on Family Guy. Stewie is known for his quick wit, wacky inventions that often lead to a variety of zany hijinks, British accent, and gay undertones.
Airing for 22 seasons, Family Guy is an animated sitcom produced by Fox. Family Guy portrays the complexities of a family man – Peter Griffin– and his family and friends from the very real town of Quahog, Rhode Island. Family Guy manages to be a mildly hilarious show that portrays serious topics such as motherhood, alcoholism, unemployment, socio-political issues, and porn addiction, in a way that is entertaining and educational.
“The Family Guy cutaway gag encompasses 95% of all human knowledge, with the remaining 5% covered by the actual plot and story of each episode,” said Magroin.
With this amazing revolation, UW Madison announced yesterday that students should immediately cease going to class, and start binging all 400+ episodes of Family Guy.
Chancellor Jennifer Mnookin remarked, “only people with low IQ would go to normal class after hearing about these findings. As Peter Griffin would say, this is where we separate the men from the boys.” Family Guy 101 will replace all classes after the end of fall semester.
While some students are elated at this news, others are very concerned about these new developments. Ivana Cahque, a sophomore at UW Madison, explained her opinions on the recent development, “I just think that some of the cutaway gags in Family Guy are too drawn out. I mean, I know that’s kind of the point of some of them, but they stop being funny if they go on for too long”
Thankfully, Pat Magroin has some expert insight into the matter. “It’s simple really, the most effective way to watch Family Guy is to watch the episodes on YouTube at two-times speed. The ones with random zooms and thirdy second breaks are the best, they help make sure you’re paying attention. It’s also helpful to study the cutaway compilations”
Unfortunately, concerns over the new changes have caused some incidents on campus. Violence broke out at Gordon’s dining hall this Friday when political science major Richard Smith shouted “American Dad is better!” at one of the university workers and threw a bloodied Brian Griffin plush at the worker's face. A major fist fight ensued. Later analysis of the Brain Griffin plushie revealed that it was not blood, and actually just ketchup.
In Mnookin’s statement on the matter in a university-wide email she wrote, “I am deeply sorry to hear about the attack on Family Guy. All Family Guy fans will receive a coupon for one free scoop of ice cream at the Daily Scoop with the presentation of a Family Guy fan-card.”
With the recent violence it some have called into question the wisdom in replacing every class with Family Guy 101. However, it is clear that the University sees the potential benefits of such a class, believing that it will certainly outweigh any harm caused by the radical anti-Family Guy activists.