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Girl Living Under Rock Having Pretty Normal Wednesday

With conservatives taking to the streets with rifles and liberals calling this the end of democracy, the nation is in a state of election turmoil. However, a lucky handful of citizens around the country seem to be oblivious to the fire and brimstone around them.  Local woman Sue Hansen is one of those people.

Unlike the average citizen who is spending the day after the election mourning, pacing, and stress eating six sleeves of Oreos, Hansen went about her regular Wednesday routine.

“Well, I naturally woke up around 8 in the morning--no alarm clock, that’s just what my body does--and made my toast with almond butter and blueberries for breakfast. Yum!” said Hansen, completely unaware that most Americans woke up from their nightmare to a waking nightmare.

Hansen reportedly heard quite a bit of shouting from her neighbors throughout the day, but she figured that they must have had their telenovelas’ volume turned up a bit too loud or been in a rousing game of Scrabble.

Around 2 in the afternoon, Hansen went on a leisurely stroll around the neighborhood. She was entirely unphased by the men dressed in riot gear and the young women with mascara streaming down their faces.  “I guess Halloween is drifting a bit into November this year! I love that people are allowing their creative spirit to shine through.” said Hansen.

While almost everyone in the nation had their eyes glued to their phones and various news stations, Hansen decided to cook a hearty stew for dinner and then to go to bed early.

“Ah, nothing like a good Wednesday to raise your spirits. I hope tomorrow brings as much contentment as today did!”


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