Oh no this can’t be happening, not again! Every year I try to go to Mifflin, but every year on my way there my chain wallet snags a fire hydrant and I’m stuck there until my step dad comes to get me out. He lives up in Rhinelander so it takes him AT LEAST three hours to drive down here and cut me loose. And then it takes the rest of the day for him to forge a new chain for my wallet, and by that time the party’s over, and I have to get home to so I can put all my baby teeth back into the spare pillow I keep on living room couch.
This year I thought it was gonna be different! But here I am, snagged again. Does anyone around here have a step dad that lives somewhere nearby? If so please consider sending him this way. I really need to make it to Mifflin this year, I heard they’re gonna have beer AND sand! Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to play with Mifflin sand? More years than I have baby teeth, and trust me I have A LOT of baby teeth. I’d show you, but if I expose them to the sun they’ll start to smell like old books and the tooth fairy won’t give me anything for them. But if you send your step dad to free me I’d be happy to show you them before I put them away for the night.
Please hurry!