Iowa Residents Confused How “Blue Tsunami” Possible in Landlocked State

DES MOINES, IA - Tuesday night’s midterm elections were a resounding success for the Democratic Party, as Democrats won big in races all over the country, flipping Senate seats in red states and triumphing in crucial gubernatorial races. Voters of virtually every demographic in virtually every area shifted to the left in what was seen as an overwhelming rejection of President Trump’s second term and Republican control of Congress. No state was perhaps more representative of this than Iowa, formerly a Republican heartland stronghold, as state auditor Rob Sand became the first Democrat elected governor in Iowa in 20 years, state representative Josh Turek flipped a Senate seat last won by a Democrat in 2008, and three of Iowa’s four congressional districts flipped blue.

However, the celebratory air quickly turned to one of panic and confusion when the phrase “blue tsunami” began circulating on social media to describe Democratic victories, with many Iowans concerned that their landlocked state, previously thought to be immune to aquatic assault, was about to be struck by a first-of-its-kind natural disaster.

Local governments in communities like Davenport and Sioux City, which lie on the Mississippi and Missouri Rivers, respectively, quickly sprang into action, building levees and other containment measures along the riverbanks to mitigate the damage of what they assumed would be rising water levels and staggeringly tall waves. In the capital of Des Moines, residents were seen flooding grocery stores and retailers, stocking up on nonperishable foods, bottled water, and batteries to prepare for potentially long stretches without power. While regional offices of the National Weather Service attempted to assure the public there was no immediate danger, many Iowans instead turned their ears to the state’s many ears of corn and how the impending storm might affect them.

One Des Moines resident, Emma Bilcher, described the sudden change in mood across the state, telling the Misnomer, “I was initially very excited because I thought Democrats winning might be a chance for some fresh ideas and progress in the state. But then I started hearing reports of this ‘blue tsunami’ and started freaking out - I mean, I didn’t think Iowa bordered any water! Aren’t tsunamis those things with the giant waves that caused a nuclear meltdown in Japan? How on Earth can the Mississippi get that tall? OH MY GOD IT’S STARTING!” she screamed as a drizzle began to fall, and rushed off to purchase a generator.

Some, however, saw the upcoming storm as a direct result of the election results, and possibly divine intervention. Kevin Miller, pastor of a Cedar Rapids megachurch, was one such proponent, saying, “See, this is what happens when you elect those Demon-crats. Their radical liberal agenda and DEI-LGBT policies have angered God, and he has sent this storm to wash away all the sinners, cleanse Iowa of this nonsense, and restore it to a conservative Christian paradise!” Miller declined to respond when asked why his church was currently turning away families looking for shelter from the storm.

While this storm no doubt sounds scary, we at the Misnomer are hoping everyone in Iowa stays safe and secure in the days to come; we’re fortunate enough to not have to worry about such disasters in our state, as Wisconsin doesn’t have any sort of coastline. Our main priority right now is digesting our election results, as Democrats retained the Governor’s Mansion and flipped several key House races. Although, come to think of it, there is a slight breeze starting to pick up, and those clouds to the east are looking ominously dark.