Thing 1 or Thing 2: Which frat boy is which?

Thing 1 or Thing 2: Which frat boy is which?

Throughout the week, you may have noticed some, let’s say, odd beings walking around campus. They are in bright red onesies. The front is adorned with a white circle, outlined in black, with the text “Thing 1” or “Thing 2” in the center. Their heads are also peculiar. They all have identical bright blue hair that is long and messy.

These beings come out to celebrate Halloween. After all, it is the week leading up to Halloweekend. But they are not, in fact, the Things from Dr. Seuss’ classic story come to life. They are simply the frat boys from UW-Madison. Which may be even odder beings than Seuss’ creatures. That is not, however, the focus of this article.

The many Thing 1s and Thing 2s have brought about an unexpected problem. Because they are all generic frat boys who are difficult to tell apart under normal circumstances, it has become even more challenging to tell the difference between them with their identical uniforms this week.

One professor is quoted as saying, “I couldn’t believe my eyes when suddenly a handful of boys wearing the costumes showed up on Monday. My eyes kept wandering to them all class, and the students were noticeably unfocused in their presence.” The frat boys are not only a distracting sight, however.

Because they are all dressed uniformly, the frat boys are even more difficult to differentiate. Numerous times, students call out to one thinking it’s their buddy Thing 1, only to find out it’s actually Thing 2. This may seem like a far-fetched problem, but it is really happening. At a gathering of many Things, a sophomore was unable to find her boyfriend despite having been with him for two years. She looked all through the crowd, but couldn’t figure out which Thing was really her Thing. The costumes make the frat boys more identical, which makes it harder to tell who is who and how they’re unique.

Fortunately, the Things will be gone after Halloween. Then, it’ll be slightly easier to tell which frat boy is which. Although there will still be the issue of telling them apart since they’re already pretty similar without the Thing costumes.