We’ve all been there: you’re walking down the sidewalk without a care in the world, when suddenly your eyes are drawn towards a splash of color on the ground. It’s a face mask! Lost by its owner—or worse, abandoned—it appears soggy and stained by the mud of the midwestern winter. There’s a story there, one that’s begging to be uncovered. There’s only one way to solve this mystery: pick up that mask off the ground and give it a good, strong whiff.
Are the brown blotches on the mask really mud? Perhaps it’s the blood of a sickly man, coughed into the mask in place of the traditional handkerchief but similarly hidden from his loved one so as not to worry them. Or maybe it’s poopy. You will never know unless you bring it to your face and inhale deeply.
When spring arrives and the snow melts, thousands upon thousands of forgotten masks will be uncovered, the ground blooming with color before even the flowers begin to sprout. Masks adorned with blues and reds, logos and funny sayings, political slogans and pot leaves will litter the streets, each one with its own unique scent to be discovered. Are you really going to wait until then, when everyone else finally realizes what a gift this is? Start sniffing now, before all the good ones are gone.
So stop being such a coward and do it: pick up the mask in front of you and take a whiff. I know you want to. Besides, it’ll be good for your immune system—who needs a vaccine when you’ve been huffing other people’s damp mouth fabric?