Here at the Madison Misnomer, pretty much anything goes. We’re loose, we’re fun, and we are NOT afraid of saying something so weird or gross that it could ruin the reader’s day. However, you only see what we want you to see. You, dear reader, are thankfully not privy to the underbelly that is the pitching meetings. Despite our willingness to push the boundaries of what satire is all about, we had to draw a line in the sand many moons ago: no cum articles.
The long-haul fans may recall that we have posted our fair share of cum-centered articles in our many years of publication. Things changed in March of 2021.
During a meeting that had started out like any other, a theme began to emerge in the content our writers were pitching; it was cum joke after cum joke. It’s unclear what caused this shift, but we have a few educated guesses:
As per usual, no one in the Misnomer was boinking any hunnies and needed to overcompensate with sex content
Hand sanitizer was all the rage in the height of COVID, and let’s face it, that stuff is pretty cummy a lot of the time
Our writers were having sex–a miracle by all accounts–and felt inspired by their recent activity
Comedy writers are unoriginal and will copy each other until the end of time, under the guise of “riffing.”
Inspiration aside, the cum started snowballing. Headline after headline, the jokes got grosser and grosser until one crossed a line. I will spare you the exact wording as to avoid it haunting you as it did me, but I’ll give you the Sparknotes version. There was cum, and there was a snake from the Vilas Zoo. The moment that headline was read aloud, the Editor-in-Chief at the time decreed that there were to be no more cum articles. We’d gone too far. The Cum Ban was put in place.
Fast-forward nearly a year under the Cum Ban, and the Misnomer has thrived. A few have tried to pitch cum articles only to be shot down and reminded of our law. There have even been talks of writers quitting the org because of the Ban, spiteful for being silenced in the cum arena. After a year of no cum, the Misnomer has turned a new leaf.
Because we have now proven that we don’t have to rely on disgusting shock value, we are ready to reenter the world as mature satire writers. Our writers know what is too far! We’ve grown! The Madison Misnomer is excited to be our unfiltered selves with you again, readers.