Man Who Calls White People “Colonizer” Finally Learns to Suck Own Dick

It’s a big day for Professor Zhang’s Intro to Ethnic studies class as Sophomore Harry Morris has finally learned to self-fellate and no longer needs to signal his moral superiority on racial issues to climax.

Previously, class discussions had been marred by Morris’ sexual needs, leading to instances like last Thursday when Morris loudly proclaimed that “white men are the devil” when the professor asked if everyone could hear her clearly.

Morris, notably a white man himself, has become notorious in the class for such unprompted hot takes such as “oh, you like sushi? Yeah you would, colonizer.” followed by a wet slapping sound and breathless pants of “oh yeah, I'm one of the good ones” and “MLK would be so proud.”

Morris’ professor, Dr. Li Na Zhang, states she is excited by the new development of Morris’ dick sucking skills and hopes it will reduce the frequency that he interrupts her lectures to apologize for the fact she has white students.

“Look, I get that it’s not okay to kink shame,” said Dr. Zhang, “but it’s really hard to teach about how to be anti-racist with Harry masturbating to Angela Davis speeches in the background. And I don’t care how many emails he sends me, I’m not referring to him as a dirty little mayo man.”

When asked about if he had attended any BLM protests over the summer, Morris replied, “Oh what, are you kidding? All lives matter.”