Ok guys, serious question: If Jesus could walk on water, does that mean he could walk on milk too? Milk is like 90% water right? He could absolutely walk on most of that couldn’t he? The real question is, would he slowly sink into the milk as he walked? Or would he just be a couple of inches below the surface, wading ankle deep through a pool of milk the whole time? I wonder, would he be able to walk better on whole milk or two percent? No question he’d be able to walk on skim the best, that shit is straight up water already. You think he’d be able to walk on almond milk? I guess if he can walk on almonds he’d be able to walk on their milk no problem.
What if I added stuff to the milk? Would cereal get in the way of Jesus’ walking ability? And what about other liquids? Could Jesus walk on orange juice? Tomato soup? Shampoo? If the human body is 70% water and I can walk on those, does that make me 70% Jesus? That would mean that I’m mostly Jesus right? Why can’t I multiply fish and bread then? I mean, I guess I’ve never tried…hold on a second…nope I can’t. Those powers must be included in the other 30% of Jesus. That’s disappointing. I got all the shitty parts of Jesus. I made myself sad now. Thanks for nothing god.