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Op-Ed: How Can I Make Fun of Normal Woman?

This woman is gross, she cuffed her jeans and it’s cold outside. I hate that she is carrying a coffee mug, and wearing a silly little hat? That’s icky. And she is probably listening to Abba or Hozier; that is a classic girl thing to do, and that is kind of gross. If she tries to say something smart, I will just talk over her because I have smart science things to say. She probably only reads about dumb things.

I don’t care that she majors in biology, I am sure she does not understand what she is learning. Biology is dumb science (cells?) and engineering is smart science (physics and smart-sounding stuff about energy). I can in fact say something random I learned in class and nobody will question me (nobody knows what statics is). If she says one thing about animal cells I will tell her she is wrong (I took AP Bio). I bet she takes notes on her iPad, nasty.

Anyway, this girl is weird and dumb. She probably watched Glee when she was young. If I see her watching a single musical I will vomit.

I think I’m gonna ask her out.

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