Okay a lot of people are getting on my ass because I haven’t voted yet, but it’s like 5 PM on Election Tuesday already, and I have several more 'That ‘70s Show' episodes I want to watch. Also, like, voting is hard. The concept of spending time - time that I could be watching Donna and Eric get back together for the 80th time - to learn about candidates sounds terrible to me.
Alright, I’m just going to say it. I really don’t think I will ever be able to vote until they include headshots on the ballot. How am I supposed to be able to trust the candidates until I can see what they look like right before I vote for them?
I think I would choose based on how much they look like my fun uncle. Uncle Todd is just the perfect mix of “get good shit done” and “reliable, but not too reliable”. That’s my ideal politician.
I know what you’re thinking, “you could just look up the pictures before you go.” But get this, how can you be sure you REMEMBER what they look like.
Seriously, I’m not sure I’d be able to trust someone if I don’t see their face RIGHT as I choose to vote for them.
You know what would be even better: if the candidates were at the polling place and I could just point at them. I’m sure the logistics of that make sense.