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Op-Ed: I'm Feeling Sleepy, Deadass Drowsy as Fuck Right Now

Deadass, I am unbelievably drowsy right now. Sleepy does not even begin to describe the absolute state of wooziness I find myself in at this exact moment. Although I am currently awake, I very much would like to just straight up go to bed. I have that feeling where it’s like you’re really not awake but you aren’t quite asleep either.

Lowkey feels like I’m high but I straight up didn’t smoke anything today. I had some pasta earlier but I really don’t think that’d make me this unbelievably sleepy. Feels like I drank like four glasses of warm milk and I most definitely wanna sleep right now. I should honestly just go to bed but this feeling of drowsiness just needs to be recorded. It’s like one sleepy step for man, one giant sleepy leap for mankind.

You know the vibe when you have some of that sleepytime tea with that fuckin’ bear on it? Times that by at least ten, on God. I mean maybe if you added some honey to the tea and read a bedtime story while sipping it that’d come close, but there is simply no parallel to how absolutely worn out I feel in this snapshot of time. Imagine drinking, like, an anti-energy drink and you might come close to describing my current state of drowsiness.

I’m legit so tired I’d dare to say I am completely tuckered out and in need of a fat nap. I’m absolutely mad sleepy right now, and it must be addressed. You know those melatonin gummies that taste like strawberries? I legit feel like I took ten of those fuckers. Deadass so drowsy.


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