As a red-tailed hawk, it’s hard for me to feel fully accepted among campus sometimes. While the city of Madison starts to warm up, sandals begin to take the place of winter boots, somewhat to the embarrassment of me, a bird just trying her best to be a student.
I know that no one suspects anything when I vomit up the bones and feathers of my prey right in the middle of lecture. Or even when I’m walking through campus and can’t help but shit out uric acid on the sidewalk. If I can’t hide my talons, that’s when people will know I’m a bird.
I’ve tried everything: Crocs, Chacos, Tevas, those weird open-toed Converse -- they always show my talons. This warm weather sure is a real bitch for birds on campus.