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Student Enjoying Mom and Dad's All-Expense-Paid Acid Trip

UW-Madison junior Hunter Seljak is reportedly enjoying the spring break trip to Cancun that his parents paid for - at least, the parts of it he remembers, which, between the heavy drinking and hallucinogens, are relatively few.

Seljak, who convinced his parents to fund the trip as a Christmas present, traveled to Cancun Thursday morning with three of his brothers from Alpha Epsilon Epsilon fraternity.

“I mean, it’s really unfair of them to expect us to go to classes at all the week before spring break,” said Seljak, a pre-med biology major. “Especially since going to Mexico is such, like, a cultural experience and stuff. I mean, I’m gonna learn a lot more, like, real-life shit here than in, like, an anatomy lecture.”

So far, Seljak’s cultural experiences have included puking up thirteen tequila shots outside a cantina, being beaten up after catcalling Mexican teenagers, and dropping acid on three of Cancun’s famous Caribbean beaches.

“It’s, like, incredibly enlightening, dude,” Seljak said. “You just, like, see the world in a totally different, like, clearer way when you’re tripping fucking balls in, like, one of the most beautiful places in the world...or something.”

Seljak said his parents were mostly unaware of his drug use, but he doesn’t think they’d disapprove of the way he’s spending his spring break, nor does he believe he’s wasting their money by travelling all the way to Mexico to do drugs.

“It’s, like, about the experience, bro, and the different cultures and shit,” he said. “Like, in Madison, when you get high, you just, like, stare at traffic and think about life and whatever. Here, you can stare at, like, the ocean and Mayan art and shit and think about life. Or fight off mutant butterfly-bats wearing your third-grade teacher’s glasses so you can save Jeremy, the caterpillar that can give you the secrets of the universe. Every trip is different, man.”

Seljak and his friends acquired the drug from a UW-Madison philosophy major, who declined to be named but said he was “disappointed” in the way Seljak was using the drug.

“I use the high as a way to connect to a higher realm and discover spiritual truths about the universe,” he said. “If you’re not trained in meditation and ready to experience something profound and mystical, you’re not dropping acid right.”


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