MADISON WI - Dane County officials made a shocking discovery this week after a report revealed that teachers working within the district found the character Walter White from hit TV show Breaking Bad as someone to be looked up to. This discovery came from a larger study of Wisconsin teachers, with the report even going so far to suggest that some teachers were already in the process of building their criminal enterprises.
We talked with the head of the Dane County Health and Human Services Youth Division, Mark Dunley about these shocking findings, and what it means for public education in the county.
“Our study of Dane County teachers is fairly simple, just some basic questions about job satisfaction and educational ability. We decided to add a silly little question, just as a joke you know? Something to keep interest up. No one’s laughing now.”
The questions relating to the fictional teacher gone drug kingpin were simple, with respondents being asked to rate their feelings on a scale from 1-10, 1 being poor feelings, and 10 being exceptionally good feelings.
First respondents were asked ‘On a scale of 1 to 10 how interested they were in selling crystal meth outside of work hours?’ Respondents were then prompted with a follow up question asking ‘On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you look up to the character Walter White from Breaking Bad?’
The results startled many of the researchers. 90% of the respondents gave a score of 9 or higher for both questions, with no respondent giving a response below 5 for either question. The study found that gym teachers were the most likely to want to start a drug empire, despite the fact that they were the least likely to have the relevant knowledge to do so.
Madison Chief of Police, Shon F. Barnes, talked with our reporters about the study. “Initially, we were only thinking that chemistry teachers would respond positively to these questions, because honestly the only barrier to making meth is knowing how. Now we are led to believe that even math teachers think that they have what it takes to be a player in this bloody business. The thought of that makes my blood boil. All that a math teacher knows how to do is to dork up the place.”
However, if there is one thing that Breaking Bad can teach us it’s that you should never judge a book by its cover. It is likely that some of these teachers are already armed and dangerous, and have already undertaken some truly despicable acts. Dane County Health and Human Services has already been in contact with the FBI and DEA.
“What was shocking to see was that even teachers who never saw Breaking Bad were responding positively to the ideology of Walter White,” said Dunley. “We knew the pay was bad, but still.”
Still, Chief Barnes thinks that the danger to everyday citizens remains quite low. “Fortunately we live in a very good community. Just the other day Craig Culver donated $50,000 to the Madison Parks Division. I believe that people are inherently good, even if teachers are not.”