With March finally over, and thus so is Women’s History Month, it’s time for us men to take back our rightful place in society. While these women were protected for 31 long days, especially on March 8th, their month is over and we can go back to saying the most vile things to them. Luckily for you, I compiled a list of 5 of the most vile, disgusting, misogynistic things you can say to any females now that it is finally April.
1. “You are so brave!”
This phrase is typically reserved for our brave heroes in the military to risk life and limb to get me cheap gas and Exxon’s CEO his 5th mansion, so imagine the shock on a female’s face when they hear you say it. It’s not like females go through violence and tribulations everyday like my brave friend Josh in the National Guard.
2. “Fuck the Patriarchy!”
Nice and simple. It may sound counterproductive, but it reminds those females they live in a man’s world and society that consistently puts them down and raises up men for the exact same thing. Now imagine toppling the balance of society so that all genders are treated equally, who’d want that instability!
3. “I’ll pay for your meal/Uber”
After saying this, give the waiter your card or just Venmo the female for the cost. So much for her living independently and not depending on a male to pay for things! You really showed her!
4. “I value your intelligence”
Now this is rich! Everyone knows that beauty only matters on the outside. Imagine being complimented on your intelligence and what’s inside and not how hot you are! I guarantee she’s going to be self-conscious for the next week!
5. “I stand with you”
As she continues to lose more and more rights and body autonomy, she may stand in opposition with her fellow women. Now imagine a man joining them in solidarity. Can’t fight your own battles? I guess I’ll support you as a man to help you get your rights.
There you have it! I’m so excited it’s now April so I can start spewing these disgusting and misogynistic things to every female I can find. Be sure to share this with your fellow men, so we can all start saying these things to every female we can find!