Philosophy major Callum Hutchins was facing criticism Thursday evening from his roommates as he delayed their bar crawl by 6 hours while working on a 1-page discussion post.
Hutchins, a self-proclaimed “minimalist and Shakespeare aficionado” per his Twitter bio, smartly spends nearly half of each day on one simple assignment to make sure his work is of the highest quality.
“It’s called a creative process, dude. The corrupt education system will try to make you work quickly like a machine to meet their capitalistic agenda. You must resist. I write some, ponder my thoughts, reevaluate them and then take a break to allow my subconscious mind to work naturally,” Hutchins said. “Creativity can’t be forced. I can guarantee all of my work is sourced directly from my psyche and nowhere else.”
When asked by his roommate how the four out of six hours spent scrolling through TikTok added to his creative process, Hutchins mockingly laughed, stating “Oh, my friend, you really don’t understand. It’s too bad you aren’t enlightened.”
Hutchins also takes advantage of his REM sleep cycle to churn out brilliant writing, making sure to take a 30 minute nap after he writes a sentence or has a good idea about what sentence to write next. This strategy has had tremendous academic success as Hutchins recently reached his all-time-high GPA of 2.75.
Hutchins was most recently seen throwing his Birkenstocks at an academic advisor after she mentioned that he might need some help managing his workload to be eligible for graduation in the spring. He does have other promising ventures outside of school though, like a podcast idea that he pitched to his friend in 2014: “I’m really not that worried about my grades. When this podcast takes off, all of my teachers will see who is really boss,” Hutchins said.