Andy Saxburry-Sanders, the annoying kid in Philosophy 324’s 608 Discussion section, has crossed a new barrier this week when, to the dismay of his classmates, he began answering not only every question the TA asks, but also his rhetorical questions. This builds on his ability to find the seat closest to the front, or, at least, move his seat the closest to the TA.
Saxburry-Sanders, who is known to say “hmmm” and “ahh” before answering questions the TA poses, has been utilizing his talent for pissing off everyone in the room to answer questions which are implied not to be answered. Already known to sigh when fellow classmates get the questions wrong, as well as roll his eyes when someone asks a “stupid question,” not many assumed Saxbury-Sanders could develop further abilities. However, after TA Daniel Vendetti asked, “Now, why would Kant say this?” Saxburry-Sanders used his uncanny ability to dismantle a conversation to interrupt Vendetti before he could take a breath.
“This class needs someone to lead discussion,” said Saxburry-Sanders, blissfully unaware that TAs are paid to lead discussion. “If I didn’t answer these questions, they’d be floating out in the air, an idea which would never reach its conclusion, and as Kant would say, would be proven to be -”
He continued his comment further, but after a 10-minute monologue, the reporter simply stopped recording.
Saxburry-Sanders said that he would be hoping to further expand on his abilities, hoping to one day derail lectures. “Just because you’ve studied this stuff for years doesn’t mean I don’t know it too. If no one knows I know the answer to the question, then they won’t know I know the answer to the question.”