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Bloomberg Finds Out Voting Population No Longer Just White, Male Landowners

With the 2020 presidential election just around the corner, all candidates are hard at work to appeal to the American public. Buttigieg appeals to members of the LGBTQ+ community, while Warren and Klobuchar appeal to women. When told of how these candidates appeal to minority groups, newcomer Mike Bloomberg had a question, “Wait, they can vote?”

Bloomberg, clearly astonished, spent the next few minutes passing through the five stages of grief, spending most of the time in the anger phase. After reaching acceptance, he looked up and asked, “It’s not just rich white guys?”

After being assured it is not just rich, white men, Bloomberg asked, “So women can vote?”

A general sound of agreement echoed through the room before Bloomberg continued, “How about Hispanics?”

Another round of affirmation and Bloomberg's face warped into horror before whispering, “Hispanic women?”

After nearly an hour of being told that all races and genders have been able to vote since 1920, Bloomberg looked up, a single tear running from his eye as he asked, “How much does it cost to change that?”


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