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Brilliant! Freshman Avoids COVID-19 with Flintstone Gummies




STATESIDER APARTMENTS--Finishing up a 6-minute coughing and sneezing episode, UW freshman Josh Richardson quickly ate two flintstone gummies Saturday night before heading out to local bars to avoid the possibility of contracting COVID-19.


This genius tactic was developed by Josh after he witnessed his friend Brad successfully eat the gummies before attending a frat party. In an interview, Josh described his superb thought process behind his “vaccine” and encouraged local health experts to adopt the practice. 


“My buddy Brad was knocking back these Flintstone gummies between vodka shots one night and then headed to a dope frat rush event after. But it turns out all the brothers there tested positive or whatever. My boy Brad only had a sore throat and a 102 degree fever for 5 days so those gummies definitely worked. He really avoided that corona thing so I said why not try it myself? I might huck the idea over to UHS too.” 


Josh has a two bedroom unit at Statesider Apartments, where he hosts weekly 40-person Covid-friendly parties that require all attendees to eat Flintstone gummies at the door. “I’m just doing my part to help stop the spread. Just like the nurses and doctors in hospitals, I’m working every night to save lives,” said Richardson. The tactic has had profound success, with only 40% of Statesider resident Covid cases being low risk. 


Josh also smartly doesn’t eat the pink or purple colored gummies to avoid looking “like a total pussy” to his friends in the apartment, and he might up his game and purchase One-A-Day vitamins to better reflect his awesome manliness. 


At press time, Richardson was seen aggressively inhaling the air out of an air purifier to return his sense of taste and smell that he lost over a week ago and get rid of any COVID-19 that he definitely doesn’t have. 



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