In an attempt to promote their recent partnership with Uber Eats, Chick-Fil-A is now including one free racial slur with every order placed through the online delivery system. According to a representative of Chick-Fil-A, their sauce packets will now have one racial, homophobic, or misogynistic slur written on them, which Uber drivers will recite upon delivering a customer’s order.
“Our main goal is to bring the authentic Chick-Fil-A experience right to our customer’s doors” said the spokesperson, “We want to make sure that all of our customers know that here at Chick-Fil-A, the only thing that comes before the chicken, is ignorance.”
The restaurant plans to include over sixty four slurs and insults in the program, but is not requiring that Uber drivers use the correct slurs for each demographic.
“We want African Americans to be called Chinese slurs and gays to be called misogynistic insults. We’re not looking for accurate prejudice here. We want widespread, imprecise bigotry. Which oddly enough, has been part of our employee handbook for years.”
When asked about the new program, Uber driver Randy McGurgen showed little interest in the policy.
“I’m delivering fast food to college students for fourteen cents an hour. I’m not above saying or doing anything at this point.”
Another Uber driver, Earl Sanders, said that he had already been calling all of his customers slurs since before the program was started, regardless of which restaurant they ordered from.
In a concluding statement, Chick-Fil-A’s spokesperson sounded optimistic about the program, saying that the company’s best years were ahead of it.
“And as always, it’s our pleasure to serve you, you dirty asphalt nibblers.”