With rising global inequality, looming climate change, and Jeff Bezos’ creepy little face in the news far too often, criticism of the capitalist system has been rising around the world. But as “communist” becomes a filter selection on Tinder, it seems that political consistency is as unevenly distributed as wealth.
23-year-old Samara Lloyd is a software engineer and proud member of the Democratic Socialists of America. Last week she was shocked to find that her paycheck had been reduced to $0 by her employer. Her boss, Gregory R. Eedy, states he was simply attempting to be a forward-thinking boss and honor her political affiliations.
“Well she tweets about how nice life will be when we abolish money, so I figured she would want to start with her own paycheck. Just goes to show you, you can’t trust these commies to follow through,” Mr. Eedy said.
Ms. Lloyd attempts to veil her failed politics by arguing that it is not hypocritical to both want to change the economic system while also needing money for rent.
“Yeah I want life to get better eventually,” Ms. Lloyd said. “But I still put in like 50 hours this week so holy fuck, pay me.”
While the debate over whether it is better to improve workers’ lives or to continue to allow dragons to hoard the planet’s wealth continues on, it can only be hoped that the supporters on both sides will have some political consistency and stop expecting quality living conditions while also criticizing America's freedom-loving government.