The current economic crisis has touched most of our lives. Unless you’re so rich you should be guillotined or a free spirit riding the rails through America’s heartland, chances are someone you know, a local business, or you yourself have taken a hit. Without the ability to go on tour, record music, or hold concerts, indie musicians in particular are facing a dire situation.
For the hyper pop band your strange friends listen to, 100 gecs, this has meant a name change. The value of 100 gecs has been compromised due to ongoing inflation, resulting in the threat of sanctions by the Securities and Exchange Commission and a mandated name-change to “88.5 gecs” to reflect accurate market conditions.
Despite early threats from shareholders of repossessing the famous ‘gec tree,’ the name change proved to be enough to assuage fears of misleading potential investors. Similar to Weimar Germany or subprime mortgage collapse of ‘08, the gecs inflation crisis had the potential to shake the global economy to its core. One economist had this to say on the matter: “What the fuck is a gec? Who the hell is the Madison Misnomer? How did you get in my house?”
This is not the first financial mishap for the group, as early gambling debts and a potential assault charge accrued from horse racing have haunted the band. In the words of one of the lead singers Laura Les, “Bet my money on a stupid horse, I lost that. So I ran out to the track to get my cash back. I just gotta leave this place with a big bag. So I found the fuckin' jockey and I grabbed that.”
While the band is not currently a ‘Money Machine’ as their hit song suggests, with proper government intervention and oversight, the band should make a full recovery. Pretentious hipsters and alternative Tiktok youth can rejoice and continue to listen to this weird, weird shit.