When asked about her method of voting, freshman Miranda Putnam was stoked to say that she sent in her absentee ballot back in October. She then looked both ways for any passerby to make sure no one else could hear.
“I still have my ‘I voted’ sticker tucked away in my room for Tuesday. It’s in my lockable drawer so my bitch of a roommate doesn’t try to snatch it and steal my glory,” she said.
When said roommate, Alyssa June, was asked for her opinion on the topic, she seemed a little unnerved.
“Every time I drift a little towards her dresser, I can feel Miranda’s eyes on me like a hawk. One time I stumbled over one of her shoes, and she actually got up to physically block the drawer that has that fucking sticker. I swear on my life she even started chanting ‘I voted, I voted, I voted’ in her sleep last Friday,” June said.
Planning on taking the long way to each and every one of her Tuesday classes, Putnam has already picked out her outfit that will perfectly compliment the patriotic red, white, and blue scheme.
“I’ve had my blue V-neck set aside since October 1st so that I didn’t accidentally get it dirty this week,” said Putnam. “It would honestly be pretty fucked up if someone purposely wore orange knowing damn well that they were going to be wearing the sticker.”