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Frostbitten Girl Lookin’ Damn Fine in Those Ripped Jeans


UW-Madison junior Meaghan McAllister was looking damn fine Wednesday evening in her ripped skinny jeans and old Converse, despite showing clear signs of serious frostbite.


According to witnesses, McAllister’s tantalizing exposed knees and thighs were already white, a clear sign of frostbite, when she got into the Plaza line. This, however, only increased her allure.


“It’s like, who’s this Wonder Woman?” Trevor Goggins said. “Like, she would’ve looked smokin’ any time of year, but knowing what she was enduring to look that good just made it, like, exponentially better.”


Carlos Magellan, Goggins’ roommate, agrees.


“She had this dark hair, so the whiteness gave her this Snow White kinda thing going on,” Magellan said. “Plus, it gave you the opportunity to be all chivalrous and, like, offer her your coat or your gloves or anything really… she looked so cold…”


McAllister could not be reached for comment. Her roommate, Shauna Hunter, said McAllister was currently hospitalized and being treated for severe frostbite and gangrene, but is comfortable knowing she fuckin’ rocked it in those jeans.


“The doctors are saying she might, like, lose her leg,” Hunter said. “But those jeans looked exactly as good as I told her they would. And I saw those guys at the bar; they were hot. If they were that into Meaghan, it was definitely worth it.”


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