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Frowning Badger Cru Member Excommunicated

It was a dark day for the Badger Cru, a group of christian students on campus, after member Jeremy Stevenson was caught frowning during a meeting last week, forcing the Cru to immediately excommunicate him from the group.

“We cannot accept this type of behavior,” said Badger Cru leader Louis Marigold. “One of the most important parts of our doctrine is to be happy all the time, and if not that, then to at least feign happiness so we can be perceived as a great organization. For a member to express any emotion that does not follow these guidelines, they would be forcing our hand.”

Stevenson has been searching for groups which would both allow him to preach the good word of Christ and express the occasional non-happiness, but to no avail. He is currently looking into transferring campuses.


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