Friends of Sophomore Ashley Everson have expressed concern about her mental state after Everson called herself her own valentine for the third year in a row.
“I don’t know how much more she can take,” said roommate Amanda Triste. “She’s bought herself four of those heart shaped chocolate boxes and is calling it ‘self love’.”
“She’s a walking ticking time bomb,” said friend Marnie Krass. “I wouldn’t want to be near her when it happens.”
Experts predict a full meltdown somewhere in between her third and fourth box of chocolates. When asked about her prospective breakdown, Everson seemed strangely at ease.
“Eh, at least I know how to make myself cum,” said Everson.