Well gang, it’s that time of year again. We at the Madison Misnomer will be taking our three-month-long hiatus from producing the most riveting comedy at UW for the summer. We know our readers will miss our daily antics and may be wondering what exactly we do during our time off. Well, this year we’re planning something truly special.
We’re going to sleepaway camp…at your mom’s house.
Yes, you read that right. We know your dear mother has been lonely over the past few years. We know she’ll be even lonelier considering you won’t be home all summer since you got that killer internship in some far away city, so we took the initiative to keep the woman who birthed you company for the next 12+ weeks.
We honestly couldn’t be more excited. We’ve heard great things about her. We know she’s a free spirit who makes a killer french toast and has a downright contagious laugh. We met with her once and now we can’t stop thinking about her. We get that rush of emotions every time she walks in the room. We love the way she smiles and laughs at all of our corny jokes, and you’d be surprised how well she can dance.
It’s going to be great. We’ll share our nights with her out by the bonfire and hold her oh-so-tenderly while telling her all the words she wants to hear. We’ll take her out for long walks on the beach. We’ll be there for her whenever she needs someone to lean on.
We’ll be the most gentle, attentive seasonal companions that anyone could ever ask fo…you know what? Who are we kidding? Have a great summer. We’re gonna fuck your mom.