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New Marketing Campaign by Cheetos Has Chester Cheetah Skinned by Poachers

Following the death of Mr. Peanut, Frito-Lay needed to get in on the action. In a new advertisement, Chester Cheetah gets brutally skinned alive by a group of poachers and is turned into a rug. The ad has been getting a large amount of controversy due to the gratuitous violence shown in the ad and its untimely nature.

“When I first heard about the ad, I didn’t think it was that big of a deal,” says Jim Forrest, 35, a lifelong Cheetos fan. “But when the guy licked Chester’s flaccid cheek and said ‘Mmm… cheesy!’, I think it went too far. And that’s not even considering the bloody skinning of Chester or his screams of agony and pleading for his life. I’m not sure I’m going to be eating many more Cheetos. Well, maybe a couple more.”

Frito-Lay spokesman Chris Deacon has plenty to say on the issue. “What mascot is a bigger household name than Chester Cheetah? I don’t think there is one. Chester was an icon, and now he’s gone. And I think we should all be in mourning. I know I am, and to honor Chester I will be eating many Cheetos this week and forever. It’s what Chester would’ve wanted.”

In regards to the controversial nature of Chester’s death, Deacon said “So what if he was skinned alive? If anything, we’re bringing an important issue to light! Poaching is an international problem. We’re the good guys here. Frito-Lay is an ethical company.”

“I think consumers should mourn for Chester with their wallets,” Deacon concludes. As of now, Cheetos is continuing in their campaign of rebranding all Cheetos products to mourn the death of Chester Cheetah.

Chester Cheetah was 34.


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