Citing a lack of hunger and a love of the family pet, Madison six-year-old Ciara Simpson was found to have given Thanksgiving leftovers to her dog, a four-year-old labrador named Goober. This display has already been recognized by experts as the only solid working example of trickle-down economics ever presented.
“He just looked hungry, and I love him so much that I thought I would treat him to something special for being the greatest!” said Simpson, standing adjacent to Goober in the family kitchen, unaware that she had just accomplished what conservative economists have tried and failed to do for nearly 40 years.
“Are you goddamn kidding me?” said Jason Rothstein, an economist at the University of Chicago. “We’ve applied complex economic theories, real world studies, and hundreds of thousands of research dollars into trying to prove that Reaganomics works, and this is it? This is the best we can get? I need to call the dean.”
“Yeah, this kind of proves our point” said Jessica Sandoval, a liberal economist at the University of California-Irvine. “All the power to the six-year-olds among us, but this really does show the power of any economic system that doesn’t directly benefit those at the top.”
At last report, Ciara had put Goober outside after causing a mess in the kitchen, which has become the best conservative argument for stricter immigration legislation.