With a month into the semester, it's only natural that a special someone in your Econ class might have caught your eye. If your crush happens to be in the process of attaining a Folklore certificate, here's how to start having some legendary nights together.
"How about you park that hickory dickory in my dock tonight?"
Simple and straightforward, who doesn't love rhymes? Nostalgic, yet horny, so this'll lead to some great emotionally-charged sex. Just don't be surprised if they start crying or unloading their mommy/daddy issues onto you in the middle of it.
"Be Mommy Mary's good little lamb"
Lambs are docile, so you're going to need to put yourself in the driver's seat with this one. If your crush is on the quiet side, let them know loud and clear you're down to take care of them in more ways than one. Or if you want to assert your dominance, show them you're down to fuck rather than fuck around.
"I've seen London, I've seen France, but there's something else I really want to see before I die..."
Ever heard of the phrase "neat in the streets, freak in the sheets"? Well, we're going for freak in the streets, freak in the sheets with this one. This line establishes you're a curious and adventurous globe-trotter. If things go well, you might even get to join the mile-high club together.
"Are you the muffin man? Because I've been wanting a bun in the oven"
If there's anything Folklore students love, it's getting to talk someone's ear off with all of the useless interpretive things they've learned. Who better to sit through their CoComelon-predecessor rhymes than an actual child you two create? Just be aware that this might backfire because you don't want to be stuck asking "do you know the muffin man?" after your new baby daddy says he's stepping out for some milk.
"Frère Jaques, dormez-vous avec moi?"
We here at the Misnomer appreciate all cultures and traditions, which is why we're bastardizing this little ditty. The person you're trying to pick up is going to need to know French for this one or if you say it in a horny enough "oui oui baguette" accent, there just might be no need for Google Translate. Just keep in mind that the French have the reputation of impassioned lovers for a reason.
"If you're happy and you know it, clap these cheeks"
Again, no beating around the bush here! Folklore students use enough brainpower trying to analyze "Anansi the Spider," so you should be a considerate date and take the guesswork out for them. Put your psychology notes to the test and Pavlov your crush into associating you with a dopamine rush.
Comments