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Post-defeat Trump Seen in Woods Releasing Melania into the Wild

Wednesday morning, after the news of his defeat by Joe Biden finally sunk in, President Donald J. Trump and First Lady Melania Trump were spotted entering the woods near the 10th hole of Trump’s personal golf course in Sterling, Virginia.

Multiple eyewitnesses have reported seeing Trump lead his wife to a log. There, he told her to sit still while he unhooked her harness and released the First Lady into the wild.

The doe-eyed Melania looked to her husband, tears in her eyes, and mouthed what some claim to have been a “thank you”.

“Look, Melania, bunnies!” Trump was then heard saying to his third wife. As Melania glanced toward the woodland creatures, Trump scampered off before she could see him. A few minutes later, a local man heard a gunshot and a Melania-sized thump, but that could have been anything.

Many right wing women’s groups have come forward this afternoon with similar statements on the event. 

Courtney Johnson from Alt Right Gal Magazine commented, stating, “She THANKED him in her last words! Trump truly is a President for all of us women.”

The Sterling City Police Department has announced they will not be looking further into this event, under the reasoning, “What’s one more crime?”


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