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Public Apology Re: Phil up My Punxsutawney and Spring Into My Beaver

The Madison Misnomer has hired, and subsequently fired, an intern who was assumed to be a creative genius. Gerard Snuffleupagus was scouted out at Plaza by our hiring manager, who at the time was searching for a “project.” This was most likely due to his mullet, Carhartt beanie, and potentially concerning interest in The Joker (2019). Though it was becoming increasingly clear that our creative ideas did not align, our hiring manager was adamant that she could fix him. When we found this written on a napkin in the break room, however, our HR (Humble Realtors) team knew it was time to move on, and we fired him.

Dearest reader,

Yesterday was groundhog day,

And we’ve got six more weeks of winter.

But that’s okay baby, because I have a bed

and we can stay warm under the covers.

I know you love your ground hog,

And you love to grind and snog,

So I was thinking that maybe

You might also

Take a liking to beavers.

So Phil up my Punxsutawney tonight,

and lets soak on through the seasons.

It’s groundhog day.. let’s do it every day!

We don’t need a reason.

With Love,

Gerard Snuffleupagus

Though we initially laughed at the letter and jeopardized Mr. Snuffleupagus' future career over the matter, inside we were all secretly moved to tears by the raw emotion packed into this love story for the ages. At a staff meeting, we ultimately decided that we had made a mistake in firing him, and it was imperative that we publicly apologize.

We found him at a house show later that night, reading the poem over a Midwest emo guitar riff. Then, and only then, we became confident in our initial decision. Mr. Snuffleupagus is only the second person in Misnomer history to be fired twice, the first of course being Mr. Cecil “Cookie” Monster, who was fired after taking all the cookies from the break room.


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