Quiz: Do You Have a Podcast or Are You Feverishly Mumbling Into Your Neighbor’s Mail Slot?

What kind of microphone do you have?

1. Blue Snowball iCE USB Mic for Recording and Streaming on PC and Mac, Cardioid Condenser Capsule, Adjustable Stand, Plug and Play – Black

2. Blue Snowball iCE USB Mic for Recording and Streaming on PC and Mac, Cardioid Condenser Capsule, Adjustable Stand, Plug and Play – White

3. I don’t know the model, but it’s rectangular and shiny, and the flappy bit moves back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and

Where do you post your podcasts?

1. Spotify or Apple Podcasts

2. Soundcloud

3. Who knows? I like to just live in the moment, and at this moment I’m sweaty and my tongue is too big for my mouth.

What kind of topics do you usually cover on your podcast?

1. Whatever my guest is an expert in. Science, comedy, history--it doesn’t matter! I love learning new things.

2. I make fun of bad movies. It’s kind of an untapped market. Have you ever seen The Room?

3. I like to read credit card statements, if they stay still long enough. Or if I’m lucky, the L.L. Bean catalog. 

What kind of guests do you have on your podcast?

1. Celebrities, scientists, public figures--anyone who’s anyone.

2. My friends. We don’t need guests, we’re just big thinkers who happen to also be hilarious

3. Some of my favorites have been Dog That Sniffs Me, Lady In Pajamas, and Strong Ambulance Men.

Who are your podcast sponsors?

1. Audible, MeUndies, and Quip Electric Toothbrush

2. No ads, no bullshit, just donate to my Patreon. Please.

3. NyQuil™. Spoonful after spoonful of NyQuil™.

If you answered mostly 1s: Congratulations! You have a rather successful podcast with a small following of morning commuters. This will be your legacy, are you okay with that?

If you answered mostly 2s: Yup, that’s a podcast. Yeah, I’ll give it a listen soon, definitely, I’ve just been so busy, you know, with uh...work. Yeah, work, the ol’ 9-to-5, corporate’s really breathing down my neck on getting all those numbers and letters and words in this quarter. You know how it is. 

If you answered mostly 3s: Unfortunately, you do not have a podcast. You’re camped out on your neighbor’s porch in a NyQuil™-fueled haze with an alarmingly high fever. Let’s draw you up a nice ice bath and I’ll make a few calls.