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Smokey the Bear Mauls Tourists for Not Social Distancing

National Parks have become increasingly popular as an alternative to staying inside all day and feeling a sense of compounding dread. And with this warm March weather, more and more people have been choosing this alternative. The increase in National Park traffic, however, has given Smokey the Bear a more important job than looking for silly wildfires. Standing on the top of the fire tower, Smokey is easily able to spot tourists standing less than six feet away from each other.

Citations for not social distancing including mauling, limb ripping, and infected bites. Smokey the Bear is now on vigilant watch for tourists not social distancing, and he’s not joking around this time.

On the subject, Smokey commented, “Only YOU can kill your grandma by having no sense of social responsibility.”

Tourists are advised to “forget all that wildfire prevention stuff” and social distance to avoid a mauling.


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