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“Supply Chain Issues”? Then How Do You Explain Why My Custom Lava Lamp Came 2 Days Early?

It’s an understatement to say that COVID has disrupted the worldwide economy. Businesses large and small are facing difficulties acquiring their typical supplies. Customers are being offered subpar alternatives or long wait times.

However, connoisseurs of specialty goods with zero demand are facing no such challenge, and are rather annoyed at the rest of the world complaining about such problems.

“Supply chain issues? Then how do you explain why my custom lava lamp came two days early?” asked Sunny Perez, a local artist. “Everyone’s bitching about pork, cereal, and couches, but they don’t realize this is a blessing in disguise. Meat, gluten, and furniture are the devil’s doing.”

Economic experts anticipate the trajectory of consumer trends will be altered by the supply shortages for at least two decades. The bright side is, maybe we’ll find some new products to enjoy. Other custom items with no shortages in the foreseeable future include wishbones without the turkey, yarn the color of surgical face masks, and yo-yos engraved with Prince Phillip’s face.


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