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'Third time’s the charm!' Says Student After Being Rejected by A Capella Club For 5th Time

When Jacob Moraine first attended the org fair his freshman year, he was inspired by all the a cappella tables asking if he could sing, telling him he could audition this semester. Jacob decided to dream big that year, auditioning for the Mad Hatters, confidence pouring out of his excited freshman self. When Jacob didn’t get a callback, he was not deterred. After no callback for spring semester either, Jacob kept on trying. “Third time’s the charm!” Jacob was heard saying after five semesters of rejected auditions for even the lowliest of a cappella groups.

When consulting Jacob’s friends, it appeared that there was more to this rejection than just bad luck.

“Jacob really is just shit at singing,” confessed one of his close friends. “We’ve even said it to his face, but he won’t stop auditioning.”

Spending most of his time watching “Pitch Perfect” over and over again, Jacob has been failing most of his classes. On most days he carries around one of those round harmonicas, trying to start impromptu a cappella performances with people around him, “just like in the movies!” When nobody joins in, he runs around singing the songs himself, typically dressed up in one of the many iconic a cappella group outfits.

Students have taken to avoiding him at all costs.

Jacob refuses to even consider stopping now. With a large and convincing smile, he said he “never cries in his bedroom alone at night, haunted by red suits, suspenders, and vibratos, wishing the end would come soon.”

Jacob’s positive outlook is an inspiration. For his sixth a cappella audition he plans to hold a sign reading “please help.”

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