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Trump, McConnell begin search to replace Justice Kennedy with never ending sense of dread

Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy announced his retirement Wednesday, leaving President Trump and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell to begin Kennedy’s replacement process. Following the news, McConnell announced that the senate will vote this fall on how they want to give Americans an inescapable sense of hopelessness.

“We could go with a young judge that will serve for 40 plus years,” said Trump. “Or we could go with a very old, very conservative scumbag and really stick it to America. We need a little time to weigh our options”

The retirement of Kennedy will leave room for the Supreme Court to be comprised of 5 conservative judges and 4 liberal judges, giving any case a nearly ensured conservative ruling.

“We won’t have much to do, which is good because the disappointment will be overwhelming,” said Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. “It can get pretty hard to focus during long hearings, so now that we know our vote has no meaning we can just let our dismay overwhelm us.”

As for who the nominee will be, speculation is beginning to take shape. Unfortunately, Merrick Garland will be busy spending quality time with his family.


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