Following a flyover of hurricane-wracked Puerto Rico, sources in the White House revealed that President Trump had become enraptured with what he called ‘Trump Waterparks’ as he took in the catastrophic human suffering and devastation.
“Look at that little lazy river,” Trump said, gazing in fascination at a group of U.S. citizens floating through their former neighborhood on what remained of their furniture.
“Reminds me of that place Barron likes with all the tubes, just incredible.”
Aides revealed that the President exclaimed in amusement several times throughout the 2-hour flight, which took the President and his staff over some of the U.S. territory’s hardest hit areas.
“This is tremendous, just seeing all those people having fun down there. Hurricanes get so much negative press and they don’t deserve it. It’s a real tragedy, honestly.”
“I think Puerto Rico beats any other waterpark in the world right now, believe me.”
Included in Trump’s leaked notes from the flyover were excited commentary about the “natural wave pool” along the island’s northern coast and what appeared to be a hurricane-shaped whirlpool concept.
“I found the trip very informative,” the President said. “I think the American waterpark scene is stagnant, very stagnant. Puerto Rico is going to help us shake things up.”
At the time of writing, the President had begun drawing crude sketches of ‘Trump Waterparks’ based on his experience in Puerto Rico, including an area dubbed “San Juan Splash.”