We at the Misnomer love a goofy mix up, but every once in a while, hijinks become a threat to your ability to retain all four of your limbs. Due to a mishap with a training exercise, UW Army ROTC actually placed live explosives all around UW campus! Most of them have been removed under the cover of “ongoing construction,” but here are five fun ones still on Bascom that you might’ve missed–so far!
1) Under Abe’s other foot
We all know it’s good luck to rub, suck, or fondle Abe’s right foot, but touching Abe anywhere else could cause problems. Did you know that putting pressure on his left foot could lead to trouble? That’s right! If you’d like to send yourself and people around you into near-earth orbit, this mine would do the trick.
2) Somewhere on the green
We don’t know exactly where, but it’s under the grass there somewhere! Try rolling down Bascom a few times if you’d like to encounter this one!
3) Under the bridge
Like a troll guards the proverbial bridge, this mine helps keep the bridge safe from drunk freshmen walking home to their dorms. If you’d like to avoid becoming a fine mist, maybe take a detour through library mall for now.
4) In one of the elms
More of a threat to squirrels, but definitely worth knowing about. Fun fact! Arboreal mines are actually a time-honored Madison tradition. This started with members of the early environmental movement placing them to prevent tree removal by UW administration and morphed into a classic (semi)harmless practical joke. However, due to the deaths of several freshmen in the mid 80s this practice has largely been abandoned.
5) Right behind you!
That’s right! This one followed you! It is sentient, it does know you personally, and it holds a grudge for what you did! It’s unclear how this landmine gained sentience, but rest assured, you can’t hide from it forever.